It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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