There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
