i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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