If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
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I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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