Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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