Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you had me at cake vodka
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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