ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize