I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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