can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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