that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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