I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
