Got a toothbrush?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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