I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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