I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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