If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize