T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
