oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
