I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
