drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
