good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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