Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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