yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
