It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
