Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
