Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
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Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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