i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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