brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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