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ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
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