Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...