is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
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I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”