Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.

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(248): ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores. http://tfl.nu/e4hq

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You kept calling me your small dog last night.

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(201): You kept calling me your small dog last night. http://tfl.nu/02jw

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(540): View more from Virginia

she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.

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(540): she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated. http://tfl.nu/qt45

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(818): View more from California

His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

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(818): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face. http://tfl.nu/bthr

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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(202): My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation. http://tfl.nu/z4sr

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(304): View more from West Virginia

his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.

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(304): his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on. http://tfl.nu/aue5

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(513): View more from Ohio

2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.

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(513): 2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless. http://tfl.nu/7smn

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.

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(239): I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore. http://tfl.nu/vgm4

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(703): View more from Virginia

Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?

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(703): Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible? http://tfl.nu/w9is

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(903): View more from Texas

Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me

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(903): Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me http://tfl.nu/adub

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(970): View more from Colorado

Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me

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(970): Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me http://tfl.nu/7cqx

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?

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(919): Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you? http://tfl.nu/64mv

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...

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(814): Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September... http://tfl.nu/x7my

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(678): View more from Georgia

It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.

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(678): It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces. http://tfl.nu/9y43

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(936): View more from Texas

The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.

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(936): The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant. http://tfl.nu/br3c

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