All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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