I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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