4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
