he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
