Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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