Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
