So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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