Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
as a side note pls kill me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
