oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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