So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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