ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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