No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
