He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
