Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
