My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
