bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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