it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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