i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
