Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
