after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
