She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
