i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
