sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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