a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
