Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
