for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
