you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
