How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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