Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize