She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
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so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
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The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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