I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
