hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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