on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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