12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
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We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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