We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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